Building Relationships

Several years ago I sat and listened to an international student talk about the differences between teachers in the United States and those in his home country.  He talked about the limited interaction between teachers and students.  Months later I sat in a Ruby Payne workshop as they presented research on the link between grades and if a student likes the teacher.

I, personally,  am a big believer in building relationships between students and teachers.  Teachers should not be a student's friend but teachers are more effective when they have a relationship with their students and know more about the student's background.  That relationship can be built on something as simple as attending a band concert or cross country meet to support the students you have in class.  Congratulating them on an award or victory will show the student that you do care about them.  If a student suddenly changes, then stop them for a moment after class and ask them if everything is okay or if there is a problem they need

help with.  It also helps if you make it known to your students that you arrive to school early and stay after if they need help or have questions.  You can also talk to counselors, attendance clerks and nurses about students that have been absent or that you are having learning or behavior problems with.  Many times they can shed light on health issues or home life situations that affect the student's daily lives.  I have even made postcards that say "Thanks for being a good kid, your cooperation is priceless.  Mrs. Taylor".  I randomly give out the cards and

many value them so much the brag about getting one or post them in their lockers.  The students realize that they are noticed and their behavior is appreciated.  

All these things together work together to give students the confidence to come and talk when needed.  Many times that something is simply an adult to talk to, or someone to listen or give advice.  Sometimes its a breakup, sometimes family problems, personal problems, class issues or to share good news.  The result is the teacher understands the student more and therefore the teacher is more empowered to teacher that student is a way that is more successful.  Or maybe the student will respect the teacher more so when that same teacher needs to discuss grades or behavior with the student, the student will respond more positively because they know the teacher honestly cares about what is best for them.  And lets be honest, no matter how much work we put into that amazing lesson, what the students really want to know is does the teacher really care about me or not.

The teacher wins to because it is so satisfying to see the students succeed and come back and tell you how successful they are and thank you for taking an interest in them and contributing to their success.

Community Service

It is so important for students to get involved in community service!  They do not realize what they also get out of it until they actually get involved.  First they need to locate a volunteer organization or activity that fits the student's interests.  If they love animals, check out the human society.  If they love to play music for an audience, check out the retirement homes, they love music and visitors.  If they have a tight schedule, look within their own community to rake leaves, shovel snow or babysit for neighbors.  Students learn the value of giving back to their community.

There is another advantage to students, most college applications and scholarship applications also ask about community service.  I teach a college readiness class and I encourage students to keep a log of community service.  A simple list of what community service they did, when, how many hours and the name of an adult that could verify if needed.  It may be a good idea to keep some kind of contact information on that person as well, a phone number or email for later use if someone needs verification.  The student may also use that contact information to request a letter of recommendation for a scholarship, college or job.

I recommend students start giving back to their community when they are young but start documenting when you become a freshman in high school.  Start small and investigate lots of opportunities to decide what is the best fit for them.  If they do not know where to start, call the local United Way, they usually have a list of organizations needing help.  Also check with high school teams and organizations, swim teams need volunteers as timers, clubs need help with their competitions and many club do community service as part of their regular activities.  If that does not yeald enough ideas, start contacting local organizations, retirement homes, Boys and Girls Clubs, Big Brothers and Big Sisters, March of Dimes and the list goes on and on.  Just get involved!