Teachers need to ask questions to get to the root of the problem so maybe the choice will not happen again. Why are you late to my class so often? I got the response, I have a friend that has to get themselves up each morning because his mom works nights. Sometimes he misses the bus and I drive to his house to pick him up so he is at school. Okay, maybe in the eyes of the greater good, I should give him a break. (I did double check the story and it was true).
Why are you sleeping in class? Why are you not working? Why did you not do the assignment? You do not normally make those kinds of choices, what is going on? What can I do? Can I help?
And sometimes I get the shrug of the shoulders or "I don't know" but more likely I get an answer and help build a relationship. The answers can amaze. I don't understand and I am not going to look stupid. My boss needed me to work late. Mom works nights and my little sister would not go to sleep. And the stories go on. Yes, some will not be totally true but that is where the relationship is important. If you build a relationship with a student they are more likely to be honest with you. I also tell them, get a backbone and admit it when you did something stupid. Adults will respect you for taking responsibility
and we have all been there. We made a stupid decision to only question ourselves later, "What was I thinking!"
By asking the question, we may not need to discipline that student again!
