Student Relationships Don't Die at Graduation

We all know that value of building relationships with students, or at least I hope everyone knows that

by now. I believe it is important for students to know that relationship does not end on graduation day for two reasons. First if we really do care about our students, that does no just turn off one day. Secondly, when current students see or here that you still hear from former students and that you are happy about that, it is easier for them to believe your care is genuine. It may be a bit different for me because I teach a college readiness class for seniors so when they go off to college they know they can contact me when they need a bit of encouragement, tough talk or help with a problem at college.  Social media makes that easier than in the past.  As part of my college readiness class, I also have students from prior years come talk to

my class about college.  Current students know that past students would not bother to come back to high school unless they respect and care for the teacher. Also, current student see me interact with past students and can tell by the smiles, hugs and laughter that I truly do think a lot of them.

Many students are already dealing with trust issues, rough home life, drama or mental health issues  and do not need someone else bailing on them.  Many may feel that way if the day they graduate, their high school teacher are "done" with them. So consider keeping in contact with your students or at least be open to former students following you on social media or answering a phone call or having lunch sometime.  Many students need to keep that relationship as they leave high school and start learning to fly.  You will not hear from all of them, but you may find that some of them may even become friends in the years following high school.

Rush to Discipline

No don't get me wrong, I believe in discipline!  Both adults and kids need to accept the consequences of their actions and preferably know what those consequences will be ahead of time.  If I drive to fast I know that I may get a speeding ticket.  I also know that if I get a speeding ticket I will have to pay a fine and also my insurance rates may go up.  If a student chooses to skip a class they should know ahead of time what the discipline will be for that.  My point is, that should not be the end of it!

Teachers need to ask questions to get to the root of the problem so maybe the choice will not happen again.  Why are you late to my class so often?  I got the response, I have a friend that has to get themselves up each morning because his mom works nights.  Sometimes he misses the bus and I drive to his house to pick him up so he is at school.  Okay, maybe in the eyes of the greater good, I should give him a break. (I did double check the story and it was true).

Why are you sleeping in class?  Why are you not working?  Why did you not do the assignment?  You do not normally make those kinds of choices, what is going on?  What can I do?  Can I help?

And sometimes I get the shrug of the shoulders or "I don't know" but more likely I get an answer and help build a relationship.  The answers can amaze.  I don't understand and I am not going to look stupid.  My boss needed me to work late.  Mom works nights and my little sister would not go to sleep.  And the stories go on.  Yes, some will not be totally true but that is where the relationship is important.  If you build a relationship with a student they are more likely to be honest with you.  I also tell them, get a backbone and admit it when you did something stupid.  Adults will respect you for taking responsibility
and we have all been there.  We made a stupid decision to only question ourselves later, "What was I thinking!"

By asking the question, we may not need to discipline that student again!